The Fray of Grey

The Wolves, the Wolves,
They tear me apart and leave decay,
But keep me alive so that I may run away.
The Wolves, the Wolves,
In the shadows they hide
And in none they confide,
The secrets of their murderous plan.
The Wolves, the Wolves,
Chase me night and day,
They follow their pray
In relentless chase,
For blood, for blood they chase.
The Wolves, the Wolves,
Death is their heart and the grave their soul.
Depart from me and leave my woe,
Untouched by such cruel fingers.
I pray not the torture of my mind lingers.
The Wolves, the Wolves,
They feed on my every turn,
They rip me apart, so that I feel the burn,
Of pain in mind,
And I pay my fine,
Of sin long awaiting
To send the message to them.
The Wolves, The Wolves,
They tear me apart and leave decay,
But keep me alive so I may run away.

Simple Beauty

Love is a simple thing,
Never failing to never die,
It breaks forth and finds its wings.
Always feeding in his love's eyes,
Ever will it be such a lovely thing,
Taking away heartaches sting.
Flowing ever,
Ceasing never,
Binding two forever.

What If

What if people said what they mean? No more hidden meanings, or trying to guess at what is really being said beneath the smiles of mild deceit. What if we were all able to understand that the things in life that make it worthwhile are not of monetary value? What if people didn't have idiotic tendencies? What if we lived with the idea that maybe I should actually try to make things better? What if we lived like God really is there? Would that change how you live? What if people didn't throw around phrases like "I love you" and honestly meant it when they said it? What if the mass majority of society is wrong, and it isn't all about I, me, mine? How would that change us as people?

How Can Things Begin When Everything Seems To Have Ended?

Even though it is only a few weeks into the summer I am already faced with three questions that will make you look in the mirror. First is where is America spiritually? Second Where is my family spiritually? Third where am I spiritually? I was reading this morning in Proverbs and chapter one struck a chord in relations to the first question. In verses 1-7 there is a charge to every Christian that coincides with the Great Commission of Matthew 28:16-20. The rest of the chapter is talking about the people that we should steer clear of, but I couldn't help but notice that the American Church has many if not all these traits in abundance and it made me think. Am I doing what I have been asked to do by God? Or am I just going through the motions? Another passage I read was 2 Timothy 4:1-8. In verses 1-5 there is once again another charge for every Christian that coincides with Matthew 28:16-20. In verses 6-8 Paul is talking about himself and I pray that one day I will be able to speak the same in all honesty. God has been working very hard on my heart and one of the many things that the spiritual future of America starts with the individual.  It starts with me and you, then it moves to the family, then it moves to the nation. However, becoming a stronger Christian is never an easy feat it takes patience and the ability to let go of everything. If you can let go of everything relationships, needs, wants, everything from the simplest thing to being willing to give up your life, you will notice that in turn you grow stronger. These aren't just thoughts these are requests made to you from God.

Legends 1

A young man was traveling down an old country road that few men knew, but this was no ordinary man for he had traversed that road many times going to and from the town into the country. The young man made all his usual stops and was almost to the end of his journey when an old hermit stopped him in the middle of the road and told him, "Young man, turn away from this path for there is naught but evil further down yonder ways." The young man looked at the hermit as if he were a fool and stoutly replied, "Old man, I am a woodsman here and I can tell you that no evil lies down this path. Step aside please." The old man began to speak but was silenced by a hand from the young man, therefore, the old man stepped aside and let the young man go on his way. The young man traveled many miles with no problem until he came to a bend in the road. Three highwaymen were awaiting the young man so that they my take his life and all that was of value. The highwaymen attacked the young man and took all they wished. The hermit came afterwards and found the young man barely clinging onto life. The hermit took the young man back to his house up in the mountains and nursed the young man back to health. when the young man was able to talk he asked the hermit, "Why did you save me? Why not allow me to die in my stupidity?" The hermit chuckled once and replied, "Because I once was the fool who did not listen to wise judgement, and I too was spared."

It's about 12:00am and I am wide awake. I was sound asleep not thirty minutes ago, but for some reason I woke up and can't go back to sleep. Last night i did not sleep at all, and my sleep so far has been sporadic at best. I have to study for my finals that are coming up, and when i am not studying I am packing some of the things from my dorm, so that I can go back home to see my family and friends.

Once upon a time I thought that people my age could not love I almost thought that love did not exist, but now that I have found her I am more than certain that love does exist. I know that many people think I am talking about a specific young lady when I mention "her" and that would be where they would be partially wrong. It is not a specific person because she is a series of attributes, but she is a specific person because she is out there and possibly I have found her. Only time will prove if what my heart tells my mind is true. One may ask me what these attributes are, but he would only find a dead end. I do not know exactly what these attributes are, but I know that I will know her when I see her. Some may think I am naught but a foolish young boy full of whims, but they do not realize that I have tried to make myself find a girl to date and in the end I could not do it because I felt as though I were not being true to her. I will be more than overjoyed when I finally find her, but I will also find dread with my joy. How can I ask her to leave everything for me? How can I ask her to be willing to put her life on the line? These two questions haunt me the most. I may be young in years, but I am older in mindset. 

It's almost 4:00 in the morning and I cant seem to sleep. For whatever reason my mind is not going to allow me to sleep so I might as well be somewhat productive with the time I could have been sleeping. My future is what is keeping me up, and has been for a while, I don't know why though and that is what bothers me so much. I am constantly thinking about the field I will be in and how long it will take me to get ready to go. I also think much on who I will go with...who is she and will she take to leaving everything to go with me. Although I still don't know how I will take to leaving everything I know to go to the field, but I trust that He will prepare me and those I love to let me go. Who am I that I should be handed a task greater than my humble begginings? Who am I to be entrusted with such matters? Those are questions fit for a later time...right now I can only think of her. How beautiful she will be when we are together and working side by side. If only I could go now and begin with what is there…but alas my time has not yet come. And for now my heart must yern for two things: my place and her; and so my heart yerns and yerns for those two things. My place and her...my place and her...